Marriage is one of the biggest steps in a girl’s life. But that doesn’t mean it can always be the wisest. You’ve just gotten engaged or are going to get engaged and all the excitement in the air is just getting to you. Relax! Sit down, grab a glass of water and ask yourself some questions that only your honest soul can answer.
1. Are you being pressurized into this? Social pressure and the fantasy of a beautiful Bollywood wedding are some reasons you want to get married. Admit it! The excitement gets to you doesn’t it? Or is it just that annoying aunt who can’t live (or die) in peace without parading rishtas on your face. Some people see it as the next logical step after they have been in a relationship for a long time or have witnessed the wedding of a sibling or close friend. Ask yourself why you really need to be married, just to be sure you’re not fooling yourself.
2. How well do you know yourself?
Finding the right person is one thing, but are you the right person? If you are convinced that he’s too good for you, better back out now before your self confidence seeps through the floor. He’s lucky to have you, just as you are to have him. 3. You have been together for more than 3 years, what next?
What do you want together? Kids, family planning, adapting to each others lifestyles are just some of the answers you might be thinking of. As a couple, do your answers clash? Taking a break from it all can be an effective temporary solution. 4. What is the sex like?
No need to be a prude and no need to be overly graphic! You’re asking yourself this question to know if bedtime in your wedded bliss is truly any bliss at all. Sex is at it’s best in the early stages of marriage and tends to die out the more you stick to your comfort zone. Get naughty and adventurous if you want to keep the heat in the bedroom alive after you exchange vows! Although sex may not be a deal breaker for some couples, you should be alright with it when it begins to wane.
5. Living with in-laws
Most guys in India live with their parents or worse, in joint families. Not only are you marrying him, you are marrying his parents (and in some cases his aunts, uncles and siblings). Are you willing to take responsibility for everyone? Living with the in-laws requires patience as their values may be different from yours. Watch the movie Monster-in-law or better yet ask mommy dearest (kyu ki maa bhi kabhi bahu thi), it makes you realise that men have it easy in the marriage equation.
6. Is he willing to accept you for who you are?
We are all unique in our own ways and sometimes they are unacceptable to others. Is your fiancee willing to overlook your flaws unconditionally or does he want you to change your personality so that you may be perceived as more acceptable as a bride? If he wants you to look like Katrina Kaif and cook like Tarla Dalal (all with your mouth shut) bring him down to Earth with OTS (one tight slap) 7. How bad are your fights?
Are your arguments and squabbles ended with peaceful and constructive solutions? If not, they will only get worse after the wedding. You wouldn’t want to spend your honeymoon in two opposite ends of the room. 8. Are you willing to put him before yourself?
Marriage means the kingpin of your world is not just yours anymore. You have to share it with him and his immediate family. Urrrr…. whutt? Being able to sacrifice for others is probably the hardest thing in this world. Not being able to is not a bad thing, it gives to an opportunity to rethink your decision to marry and strengthen your love.
9. You said yes. Wishing you thought it through first?
Don’t worry about insecurities that are in your head, this always happens you get married. Pre-wedding jitters make you say "Oh my god I’m terrified" (in Hindi or something of that sort) but if your only thought is "this doesn’t feel right", it’s probably the best to raise the white flag before shit gets serious. 10. Will he support your dreams?
Marriage is not a union of suppressing a woman’s freedom and surely it’s not the end of your aspirations. If this is not what your man thinks, perhaps your dreams matter more. Go get that PhD you always wanted or travel the world!
